DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
