I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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