your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
