Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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