3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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