Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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