I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
