you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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