You just made me feel so damn special
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
