ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
