The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
