when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
NoShamevember. You game?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
