I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
