We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
