Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He has the fingertips of a God
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
