I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
