they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
