Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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