Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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