Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
