Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
