I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
