Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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