Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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