Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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