Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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