idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
