scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
