did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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