was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
