you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize