you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
