OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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