just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
