im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize