Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Your cock deserves a montage
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
