I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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