Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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