i just google imaged poop.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
