"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
