i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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