Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
