I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
