It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is Oprah even human
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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