OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's great music for shaving your balls
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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