A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
