Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize