It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
