arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
