woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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