For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
