Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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