erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
