Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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