Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I enjoy the company of your penis
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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