yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
