he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
