There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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