Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
