i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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