i jhust puked up my retainher.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
God, I missed his penis.
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