the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am mentally ready for anal.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
