so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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