I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
